Overheard at the University

The scene is the Loft. I am minding my own business, reading an essay in Spanish about Bonobos’ crazy sexual practices (and how they occasionally indulge in cannibalism,) and I am distracted by a belch that quite possibly shifted the gravitational pull of the Earth. It was disgusting. A burping contest ensues for about five minutes, and I turn up my music so that I don’t ralph all over my textbook.

Guy 1: So who would you do?

Guy 2: As in who would I ram? Is this a multiple choice question?

Guy 1: Good idea; Kristen, Carly, Jordan, Alex, or Audrey?

Guy 2: All of them…probably Kristen.

Guy 1: Ok, but let’s be realistic.

Guy 2: What the fuck do you mean by that?

Guy 1: The last time you even approached Kristen, she refused to let you side beside her on the couch.

Guy 2: That’s true. But I heard Jordan has something, and Carly and Audrey are seeing someone.

Guy 1: I guess Alex is the lucky girl.