A Question

Are boyfriends just guys who didn’t make the friendship cut? 

I have some great friends who I would never consider dating, mostly because it would be 23.25/10 on the weirdness scale. Would you consider making out with your brother or sister? I didn’t think so.

If you said yes to that question, incest is not legal in this country.

I was talking to a friend about the subject this evening (the boyfriend question, not making out with siblings you pervert.) I said that I have an easier time just having a fling with someone rather than settling in for something for the long term. It isn’t that I don’t want a relationship, it’s that I always view them with an expiry date. I’m young, I travel, I party. I know my lifestyle isn’t exactly conductive to finding a prospective boyfriend. Occasionally, I come across a guy who isn’t insecure, has something to say, and has a level of spontaneity comparable to my own and wouldn’t have a problem with their girlfriend cavorting around the globe, and would in all likelihood, join me in the debaucheries that would ensue.

So, what’s the problem?

Well, this is where we take a little detour down friendship lane. I become so close, that I wouldn’t want to waste a relationship on them. Call me a pessimist, I don’t care. University relationships simply do not last, and those that do end up driving minivans and banging the secretary once they grow apart from each other with age. I’m good friends with all of my exes, but there is always that period of time after the breakup in which you would like to do nothing more than hurt them just as much as they hurt you, and hope that the next girl they’re with gives them the clap. Of course, given a few more weeks, hopefully both of the people involved can act like mature adults and play nice.

In most cases, however, the relationship is permanently changed. You can never be “just friends” again after sleeping with someone. There will always be some sort of lingering tension, sexual or otherwise. So sure, you can tell your good male friends about the guy you are shacking up with, but you’ll never cross that line with them, unless you want to fuck a good thing up.

This leads me to the conclusion that perhaps I date losers not due to the fact that I have a preference for “bad boys” (ugh, I hate that term), but because when I have something good going for me, I don’t want to wreck it.

This will require more pondering.